how do you tell if you have a small/med/large frame?

I have tiny wrists, and according to several places, that would mean that I have a small frame.

but I have wide hips and shoulders. where does that factor in?

a few things that have bothered me since yesterday:

1) extreme makeover: this one girl stepped on the scale and freaked that she had lost 18 pounds.
I'm sure you did, you idiot. I'd lose 18 pounds too if someone was paying to get my ass and tummy lipoed.

2) I was poking around online and found out that to be at the 'media view' weight for my height (5'6") I would have to be 112 pounds
I would be sent to the hospital without question. No way I could ever get that low and no one freak out on me or think I have an ED.

3)Don't get me wrong, I think that curves are beautiful. but they have to be proportionate and the girl has to look healthy. and by healthy, I mean trim, slim, in shape. not 'healthy' as in 'she's carrying around 10-15 extra pounds'.
I hate when other women are mean to each other about this. Just because your idea of beauty and my idea of beauty aren't the same doesn't mean we need to have a bitch-fight about it. just agree to disagree.

4) i am a Christian but I have my own beliefs about God and such in general. I do not go to church, simply because I usually find Christian's that say one thing but then act completely opposite of how God wants us to be (hypocritical and mean). Recently, I was told that me not going to church was "was just Satan knowing how to pull you away"
uh, say what? ftw?
no no no. Fuck that. Satan ain't got nothing on this, and how the hell did he even get into this conversation? I don't go to church because the people there usually don't help me find the connection with god that I want, because they are doing things that reflect the evil I am trying to avoid. So I have "God Time" where ever I feel like it. Don't tell me I've been tempted by Satan. That's just wrong. I don't have to surround myself with people to feel close to God. and I sure as hell don't have to surround myself with people who aren't at least actively trying to do what Christ taught us to do. Be Tolerant of others. I always thought that was the biggest one out there.


ok, enough with the mini rant for now.

I really need to pack for my New York trip. I have no idea what to take, since it's 1) a vacation at a lake  2) a wedding  3) meeting the other side of the boyfriend's family.   So, nothing too hoochie, summer clothes, something to wear at a wedding, and something warm. great. I'm packing for everything now.